I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
