When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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