OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
