Midget sex pt 2 tonight
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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