I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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