do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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