I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Success! We fucked roommates!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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