Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
