i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
