last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
