i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
