im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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