I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
