So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
