Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
