sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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