ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
