Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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