I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
