He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
