Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
