And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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