Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I want is dick and wine.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
