I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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