Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
