me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
