dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
