just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
