Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
