Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
