his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just want nice things and good sex
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
