If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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