The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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