I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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