I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
