guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
