I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
