whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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