i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
NoShamevember. You game?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
