I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
