I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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