if only i could text you this smell
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
