return my video game
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
