I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
