To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
