I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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