You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
