i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The dick lei will go down in squad history
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize