Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
