Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
