If that was your dad, he is hot
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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