what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
