I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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