so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
