its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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