I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
